Happy Anniversary!

So many posts about the kids... why not one about the husband?

Last week Dan and I celebrated 8 years of marital bliss.

Wedding 2005

During which, obviously, every single part of our lives have been perfect in every way. 

Because marrying the right person means your life will be easy and happy. Constant smiles. Like a toothpaste commercial.

What? You aren't buying that?

Okay, then, let me be the one to say it: Marriage is sometimes hard. Like parenting is sometimes hard. And my job is sometimes hard. And life is sometimes hard.

But there's no one I'd rather be going through this life with.

Dan's 26th Birthday 2007

We drive each other a little crazy, it's true.

For example, sometimes your spouse leaves his dirty underwear on the floor of the bathroom when he takes a shower every single day for 8 years.

And sometimes I leave hair ties on the bathroom counter and kitchen counter and nightstands and in the car every single day for 8 years.

But still, there's no one I'd rather drive crazy.

Wyoming 2007

Those things you thought might change about your spouse over time? They don't.

He still won't eat mushrooms or fish.

And I still can't stay awake past 10pm.

And he still won't get out of bed in the morning and let me sleep in, ever.

And I am still the meanest person alive when I'm tired. Which was the first entire 18 months of Elliott's life.

And yet, we've learned to live with each other's imperfections. And there's no one I'd rather be learning with.

Hawaii 2007

One thing I've learned about Dan over the past 8 years is that he is a wonderful, albeit reluctant, traveler. And I'm looking forward to more adventures when the kids reach the age that we can dump them at grandmas and jump on an airplane ;).

Greece 2007

And he is a pretty good adventurer close to home as well.

Washington, 2008

I remember sitting in one of those child birth classes when I was pregnant with Nory and hearing someone say, "I really don't want to let being a parent affect my marriage."

HA. HA. HA.

Santa Barbara 2009

 

I have very clear memories of being in labor in the car, rushing down the freeway at 85mph in the middle of the night, begging Dan to pull over and let me out of the car and him saying, "no way," so that we could have our baby in Santa Barbara instead of the side of the freeway (good call, by the way). And even in the fog and exhaustion of post-labor, I still remember thinking of Dan as a dad for the first time.

Nory's Birthday, 2009

Parenting is hard work. Not because you are doing it wrong, just because it is hard.

And when things are hard, the person you lean on the most and yell at the most happen to be the same person - your spouse.

Santa Barbara 2009

Many many great moments together as parents, but maybe just as many trying ones. Like last night when Elliott pooped on my foot.

Santa Barbara 2009

I like this picture. And I like to forget about how Nory cried in the bike trailer the entire way to the beach until she passed out from exhaustion.

Santa Barbara 2010

We've been tired for a little over 4 years.

Redlands 2010

Because when things started to feel easy - we had another kid! And moved! And Dan started a new job!

Kirkland 2011

Another mad rush of a drive, another crazy short labor, another moment of falling in love.

Elliott's birthday 2011

And then we had the hardest year of our life, because Elliott was the hardest baby EVER. And spit up every 10 seconds for over a year. And cried every time I set him down. And never slept for more than a couple hours at a time.

But Dan stuck by me through it all.

Madison 2011

And the kids kept growing. And slowly, slowly, slowly, we started seeing each other again as more than simply an extra set of hands to raise the kids or do the dishes.

Madison 2011

Redmond 2012

Yes, we are still parents.

But we aren't only parents. As our kids grow out of the all-consuming baby and early toddler stage (hooray), we are finding more and more time to enjoy each other and remember why we fell in love all those years ago.

And how we are still in love today.

Hawaii 2012

 

Bellevue 2013

One more thing.
I recently saw this in my email:

And I could not stop laughing. Because one of the things that most characterizes Dan is his obsessive determination to optimize every decision he ever makes.

For example, when making a purchase:
He looks at every possible choice multiple times.
He makes pro and con charts.
He reads articles and watches YouTube videos.
He spends every single free second obsessed with the decision until it is made.
By the time he is ready to make a decision, he knows more about the product than anyone you can find selling it.

Now, usually this means that he ends up getting something he is really happy with.
But it also means that he spends 3 months researching his new tennis racket/camera/car/computer/ping pong table.
Which makes this lady C.R.A.Z.Y. Because I'm more of a "lots of good choices, let's just pick one and be done with it" type.

Yes. I will endorse him in Optimization.
But it isn't a new skill - it's been around at least 8 years!

***
So there you have it. Marriage. Harder than I thought it would be, but also better.
And I look forward to many more anniversaries. Hopefully we will even remember to celebrate next year.