Sleep

Warning: this post is about sleep training. If you think it might offend you, feel free to skip it!

My old youth pastor posted this on Facebook the other day: "Today we all get to decide if we want to make it through or make a difference." It really got me thinking. I can say that since we've had Elliott in our family, all I have been doing is trying to make it through each day. Four months of not nearly enough sleep, being a human burp cloth, having a two year old constantly demanding my attention ("Look at me, mommy! I'm not safe!" and "No, I want milk in a pink cup, not green cup!"), laundry, diapers... you get the picture. Elliott, who has only slept more than 3 hours at a time at night a couple of times, has spent the last 2 weeks waking up every 30-60 minutes. We had a couple days of 2 hour stretches but then he reverted back to the 30-45 minute sleep pattern again. To make matters worse, I can only get him to nap during the day if I'm holding him, and usually I have to be standing/walking around. Sometimes I can't get him to nap at all. And believe me, I've tried co-sleeping, but Elliott hates to nurse in bed and will fuss/cry until I get up with him.

So, I haven't been sleeping lately. I have become a zombie (mombie?). I never, ever wanted to use a "cry it out" method with my children, but at this point I am almost not even making it through the days, much less making a difference. Is it fair to Nory to have a parent who is short-tempered, impatient, grouchy, and miserable all day long? No. Is it fair to Elliott to be so sleep deprived? No. Is it fair to Dan to be married to evil zombie witch? No. Is it worth a few days of crying to be a better parent to both of my kids, to help Elliott get enough sleep, to have a better marriage, and to regain my sanity? Absolutely. This is the second kid, and I've learned my lesson: I can't sacrifice the happiness of one kid for another, much less the happiness of the entire family.

Thursday night we tried it. I braced myself for something awful. I was expecting hours of crying, I was expecting Nory to be woken up and start crying, I was expecting to have to chain myself to the bed to keep myself from going in to "save" my baby. I nursed him to sleep around 8:30, Dan put him down in his crib, he immediately started crying (as usual), and we said "I love you" and closed the door.

20 minutes. He cried for 20 minutes. And then slept for THREE HOURS. Three hours might not sound like a lot to most people (Nory was sleeping 8-9 hour stretches at this age), but in zombie-world, it was epic. The rest of the night followed the same pattern: feed Elliott, put him in his crib, cry, sleep. He slept between 2-3 hours every stretch! And he never cried longer than 20 minutes, usually much less.

Then last night, night number 2. I started nursing him around 7:30. By 7:45 he was sleeping (this is the kid that used to nurse from 7:30-9:30 every night!). Dan put him in his crib and... nothing. No crying. He slept until midnight. Yep, over 4 hours. I fed him and put him back and... again, nothing. No crying. He slept until 5am! In two nights we have gone from a kid who takes over two hours to put to sleep and then wakes up every 30-60 minutes, to a kid who takes 15 minutes to put to sleep and sleeps 4-5 hours, and it only cost us 20 minutes of crying.

Yes, I wish I could have figured out a "nicer" way. But I am a convert. We are all happier, even Elliott!

Next stop: naps!